Books for Babies

Our goal for December is to provide a book for every family in the NICU. I can honestly say (based on our experience) that reading to Alyssa is one of our favorite memories. We thought it was so nice to receive a new book with her footprints in it. It gave us something to say. As odd as it may sound, sometimes we just didn't know what to say to her. Reading gave us a chance for her to hear her voice and to take our minds off of finding something to say. I found that if I tried just talking to her, it usually ended up in me crying.

We are trying to get books delivered to the NICU sometime next week or the week of Christmas. We would love to provide each family a book. We are trying to get a $5 donation, which will help provide 1 book to a family. If we are make more, we would love to provide books not only to the University of Women and Children's Hospital but to the NICU in Springfield as well! If you would like to help, please visit our website. Click here to donate!

Thankful

The day before Thanksgiving, Jamie and I went back to Columbia to take more gift cards and meet with our second family! We were really excited that we had the opportunity to help more families. God has been so good to this foundation - we've been able to meet our goal for the next two quarters.

We were able to meet our second family, the Kennebecks. They had twin boys at 25 weeks - born mid-October. Their names are Camden and Masen and they are super cute! They will most likely be in the NICU until the end of December, but are hoping for an early release. We were able to meet and spend time with the mom, Chelsea. The dad, Michael, was in Afghanistan. I can't imagine going through all of this without my husband there. Please pray for this family as they still have a long journey ahead of them! Here is a picture Chelsea and her boys.

Our friends donated the diaper bag and everything in it (to include adorable monogrammed onesies!). Thank you Matt and Erica!

Mary Kay offer

I've been praying for some fundraising ideas and one landed in my email! Carrie Kuster was my nurse when I was in the hospital when Alyssa was born. She is a wonderful person and I truly appreciate her generous offer! Please pass this around!

Here is what Carrie is offering...

For the month of November when you place a Mary Kay order with me (Carrie Kuster) and say you are doing it on the behalf of the Hold My Heart Foundation, I will be donating 60% of my earnings to the foundation and covering your shipping costs!! What a great way to do some holiday shopping and support a great foundation!

You can place your order by messaging me on Facebook or visiting my website at www.marykay.com/carrie.kuster31

I have gifts for all the ladies and men too! Lots of great cologne's, perfumes, body washes, lotions, skin care, and makeup options to choose from!

Please feel free to email me with any questions.

God Bless!

Carrie Kuster
Mary Kay
Independent Beauty Consultant
website: www.marykay.com/carrie.kuster31
email: carrie.kuster31@marykay.com

The holidays are right around the corner! Order today and help families in Missouri!

Long Time No News

Well since the walk is finished it has been pretty quiet here. We are planning another fundraiser to occur in December - another raffle - but other than that it has been administrative work. The walk/raffle was awesome! We made a little over $3,000 and mostly everything was donated. How amazing is God? We have enough for gift cards, for sponsoring a family, and for scholarships. We would like to wrap some books to give the families around the holidays and we have money for that too! So exciting!

We are looking to visit the NICU in Columbia again the week of Thanksgiving. It is just easier this way because I have 3 days off of work and that way I don't have to miss any more work. I just hope that Jamie will be able to go with me but he will start another class Friday.

We have a lot of momentum and I hope that we continue to keep it moving! I don't want to lose it and I have an appointment with someone who has fundraising ideas for the foundation. I am really excited and hope that we will continue to reach others who have a heart for this foundation. I hope that our foundation inspires others to help - whether it is our foundation or an organization that is close to their hearts.

Our First Event!

Our first Hold My Heart benefit walk was this Saturday. We had 150 people there - either walking or helping out. It wasn't easy but God provided us with a successful first event and with wonderful people who supported us. I can't tell you how many people dedicated their time and money to help us out. It's so awesome to see people come together to help others. That's what this foundation is all about. God has blessed us so much with this foundation to glorify Him and remember our sweet daughter.

Here's a recap of the day: We woke up super early to get things done. Jamie went with his good friends to set up and I went with my good friend for the event to try to pick up some coffee for the volunteers. Unfortunately that did not work out at Starbucks. Kinda funny - I called ahead asking for 2 coffee-to-gos and when we got there the lady thought we meant 2 coffees to go. But with a quick call to another friend we were able to get some coffee.

Once we got to the community center, we started setting up all the registration stuff and the tables. Before 8:00 we had people coming to sign-up that day! Pretty soon it got pretty hectic with people checking in. Note for next year: Have 2 tables. Live and learn.

Spirit FM got there and started setting up. It was awesome that they were able to come out. We were able to get a live broadcast so people could hear about our event.

At 9:00 they were off! It was so awesome to see everyone start off. There were some hard core people there! After the runners started I went with Fred, the DJ from Spirit FM, and did an interview. I was nervous but it went well. Hopefully people heard it and visited the website. The more we get out there the better for this foundation and the families that we help.

In about 30 minutes the first few people started to come in. As I talked more with Fred, more and more people came in. A couple of hours later the last person came in and it was time to draw for the door prizes and raffle! Thanks to a good friend we had a ton of door prizes. She was able to go out the day before and get us awesome tool prizes. For a complete list of our sponsors please visit our website at www.holdmyheartfoundation. We will also get pictures of the event up at the website as well as on our Facebook page.

It was so awesome. You never know what will happen in life but one thing is for sure. God loves you and will help you through anything. We've had a rough year but the positive has outweighed the negative. Thank you too all of our family, friends, sponsors, and participants who helped make our first event a success. We'll see you next year!

Heartbreak and Joy

Today is Alyssa's first birthday. It truly breaks my heart but at the same time this is the day that God blessed us with her. I can't help but cry and at the same time rejoice.

One year ago our world was turned upside down. I was flown to Columbia for an emergency C-section not knowing whether I would ever see my little girl alive. But God gave us time with her and I am so thankful for that.

We got to see how she always wanted her left foot outside of her snuglet. Every time the nurse would put it back in, she would always find a way to stick it back out. We got to see how she wanted to know everything that was going on. If someone came into the room she would always look. One day she started to get upset at a doctor who she could not see. That's when I realized that I had a feisty little one on my hands (FLO for short). We were able to read to her, to sing to her, and to place one giant finger in her tiny hand. We had really good days and really bad days. We were told that she wouldn't make it but she made it 11 days more than what they thought. Our little girl was a fighter and an inspiration to many. My little girl, my precious angel who would be turning 1 today.

How my heart aches. I should be choosing her party outfit and theme. I know one day we will be together and for that, my heart rejoices. I like to think that when that happens we'll have the biggest, awesomest party ever. I mean, Jesus and my little girl will be there and that in itself makes it awesome!

So Happy Birthday, my sweet little girl. We love you so much!

Generosity

Today was the first day of walk registration and raffle ticket sales. Yesterday, Jamie and I ran around getting things ready. Procrastination? A little. We bought a canopy to stand under, flyers to hand out to people walking into Wal-Mart, a cash box, and poster board.

We went to church this morning and during service I said a prayer. I asked God to open people's hearts to our foundation and to please let us get 10 people to register for the walk and 100 raffle tickets sold.

We left church and went to Wal-Mart to set up. We had everything but the TV out for display and started handing out flyers (thank you Zach, Chris, Amber, Josh, and Heather!). At first, many people were interested in the raffle. But as time passed, some of the people who were working at the doors started to bring money. People were giving us donations - I hadn't really counted on that! It was just nice to know that there are so many caring people out there.

We met a lot of awesome people this afternoon. For those of you who came out to support us, thank you so much!

God provided for us and then some! We had donations and t-shirt sales as well as 12 registrants and waaay more than 100 raffle tickets. Our total today was three times what we expected - isn't God so amazing? I honestly can't say that enough.

A New School Year

It's been awhile. I took a little bit of a vacay...I didn't go anywhere but my family was visiting and I wanted to spend time with them! I haven't stopped completely - the walk and raffle are always on my mind. Especially since our first day of raffle sales is this Sunday at Wal-Mart. Can I just say how fast time flies?

A week ago I was invited to speak at a Rotary Club meeting. I met some really awesome people. God never fails to to introduce us to the right people at the right time. I know I say that a lot but it is so true! Some days I don't know what direction to go but with God directing our path I know it will be right.

Just please pray for me now that a new school year has started! Balancing work for the foundation, work and church activities may end up with me losing my mind! If you are interested in purchasing a raffle ticket, please stop by the St. Robert Wal-Mart Sunday from 11-3!

Planning...

I've had to change the date of our walk three times. Frustrating to say the least but I know that there are going to be challenges. The biggest challenge? Finding sponsors. But I know that God will lead us to where He wants us to go.

There are a lot of exciting things coming up. We will have a raffle in August and September before the walk. So far we will have a TV, Coach purse, and 2 beautiful quilts (thank you Heather!!). I will post more online on the website once we have everything in order. I think we will start selling the tickets in mid-August.

I feel like I have so much to do and not enough time! I know that I just need to let God take control of this. It's been such a long, hard road but I trust that it is what God wants from us. I just have to remember this when I feel overwhelmed with all this planning!!

Columbia Bound

Today is the day we meet our first family! I can't tell you how excited we are! We went last night and purchased the gift cards. My mom and dad bought $1000 of Wal-Mart gift cards! How awesome is that??? So now we have 40 gift cards to give families!

We have a family that we are going to meet to present the first gift card to as well as some baby items that they need. I will definitely put up pictures later.

I am a little nervous. Going back to the NICU where Alyssa was born stirs up a lot of emotions. I am saddened a little but joy is what I mostly feel. I am excited to help these families out and I pray that we can touch someone's heart. Please pray for these families and for this foundation. I will post more after our trip to Columbia!

Broken

This weekend I went to Wild Week in Oklahoma. I can't say enough how awesome God is. I realized something and I feel the need to share it with you.

A lot of people have told me how strong I am. The only reason for that is God. I can't take credit for it. But I realized that I was building up a facade and didn't know it. I was running away from grief and from confronting the feelings I needed to confront. Instead of taking time to grieve Alyssa I was filling up my spare time with things to do.

The foundation is a way for me to honor God and my daughter but this weekend broke me - in a good way. I realized that I was putting things in front of God. I want a baby so badly and it was affecting my relationships - most importantly my relationship with God. So this week has totally put me back in the right direction. I realized that even if I don't get to be a mom here I will always get to be a mom in heaven. So although I'm hopeful to have a baby here I will not let those thoughts consume me that it takes away time from my God.

Also another thing that is broken...PayPal. Go figure. Once we get an interview in the post newspaper with our website, they place a hold on our account so we are not able to take donations. Here is the link for the article http://www.myguidon.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=12293&Itemid=40. God has blessed us in so many ways and one of them was this article. Thank you Cpt. Green and Kerstin! The article is so beautifully written. Please pass on the link to people to get us out there and please let them know that PayPal should be fixed by Tuesday. God bless!

Article, Raffle, Volkslauf Oh My!

After our ribbon cutting, Jamie's commander emailed The Guidon (a newspaper on Ft. Leonard Wood). We had an interview today for an article which will come out July 8! I am so excited. Kerstin interviewed us and I just feel so positive about this. She was very helpful and said that we can keep in touch and The Guidon can publish updates about Hold My Heart. We told her about upcoming events that we are planning and different things we are trying to accomplish with our foundation. I can't wait for this to come out! I am so excited!

Jamie came up with an idea to raffle off a nice TV the month before the walk. The walk is now moved to September 18. We are trying to raise funds for the walk to provide tshirts and food for the participants. I am praying for this to be successful. Pretty soon we will meet with a group of ladies who have offered their time and ideas for fundraising. God has truly taken care of us and whenever I don't know what to do, He provides someone who does!

Many people have expressed interest in the tshirts we wore while doing the Volkslauf. For those of you who do not know, the Volkslauf is a 10k through woods, rivers, and a gigantic mud pit. It was fun to do and we enjoyed every minute of it. We are working on getting tshirts made. If you would like a tshirt, please email me at holdmyheartfoundation@yahoo.com. Once I get more information I will email you details!

Great things are in store these next couple of months!

Benefit Concert? Yes please!

I am a planner. Always have been. So when I started this foundation I wanted everything planned out. Short term, long term and big! As scary as it may be sometimes, I know that this is what God wants us to do. Sometimes it seems daunting but if we help one person who may come to a relationship with Christ then our mission is accomplished. Of course we want to help as many people as we can and it is this purpose that keeps me going no matter how overwhelmed I feel.

God will give us the right people at the right time. At Crossover I spoke with each band. It is my dream to have a benefit concert with uplifting music. Not everyone seemed receptive and that is fine. Jackie was there to support me (I really appreciate it Jackalita). I am going to share our story everyone who will listen. I spoke with Sanctus Real and Matt (the lead singer) seemed interested. When we left I told Jackie that people who are going through or have gone through or know someone who is/is going through what we went through will be more willing to help us. People help causes that they are affected by or feel closest to. I understand that. Well later on that night it turns out that Matt is going through a similar situation. I didn't know prior to speaking with him and it truly amazes me how God weaves everything together. I can't see the design of it but I have to trust no matter what - even if it seems like it is unravelling. Please pray for him and his family and check out their music. I really like "Keep My Heart Alive" from their new CD. It's beautiful and is how I feel sometimes.

As hard as it has been Hold My Heart has been a life saver. I've always wanted a way to help others in a way that glorifies God, no matter what the cost. I've had to learn sacrifice, patience, trust (among other things) this past year. I have to hold on that this will make me and Jamie better ambassadors for Christ. I want this foundation to succeed for His will and also for my daughter. In a way it is a way that I can be a mother to her here on Earth. It might be hard to understand but I didn't get a chance to do what normal new mommies get to do. So in a way this is my way to show my love for God and for my beautiful daughter. It's what motivates me and keeps me from crumbling under the enormous weight I feel at times.

I know a lot of you support us and for that I am so thankful. There are so many people that I can and can't name that have been there for us. I hope you know how thankful we are for you. Hopefully we will have an AWESOME concert in the future!

Ribbon Cutting

We're official! Woo hoo! The ribbon cutting ceremony was awesome! I will have pictures to put up later - I forgot my USB at the church after Pastor Mark downloaded them for me. I guess I was so excited to get home that I left it!

I was able to map out a route in St. Robert for a walk in August. The date is set for August 21. I am so excited for this walk. I just hope that people will respond to it. I have plans to advertise like crazy. Speaking of...Today is Crossover. It's a concert and I am again making business cards to hand out. I want people to know that we are here and we are here to help!

I will update when I get my USB. Lots of pictures and excitement for the weeks to come!

Where is the FUN in FUNdraising???

Fundraising, obviously from the title of this post, is not fun. As of now anyway. Right now I am trying to organize a walk to raise funds and awareness. I don't mean to complain (and I'm trying not to) but goodness! I've been on the phone for over an hour trying to get something started. Finally after saying a prayer, I got to the right person. Thank the Lord!

So I have an appointment to meet with a Sgt at the St. Robert police department. Please pray that we are able to coordinate everything. But since our route goes into Waynesville I also have to coordinate with them. Please pray that I am able to work this out!

I am excited about getting us out there but I am also nervous. I know this is the route that God wants me to go on but there are sooo many unknowns. I just want to help people and I hope that through our organization they can be comforted in God's love. That is our mission and I hope that people can see that in us.

There is a concert next weekend and I plan on passing out business cards. Hopefully we will get more people to follow this blog and follow us on Facebook. Please pass along our blog and invite people to join on Facebook!

Summer is Here

Summer is here!!! While other people will be relaxing, I will be running around like crazy! I have so much to do but it is also exciting!

I was able to talk to Stephanie, one of my board members. Let me tell you, 10 minutes with this lady will motivate you to do anything. I went in her office feeling a little low in spirits. I felt really overwhelmed about everything. There is a lot that has to be done and my main concern is helping families. After talking with her I feel more motivated and super excited about these next couple of months.

Tomorrow I am going to the Chamber of Commerce to apply for membership. Coming in the near future is a ribbon-cutting ceremony! How exciting is that? I will definitely post pictures here as well as our website. Also hopefully in August will be a fund-raising opportunity - more information to come later!

If you have not already please join us on Facebook and invite your friends! Please forward our blog and our website. Thank you for your support! I will post more soon!

Website

Praise God the website (at least a basic one) is finished! I am so so SO excited. Although it gave me a massive headache I am so relieved that we can now begin to help families in Missouri. While I would love for it to be worldwide I know that this needs to be a small step process. :)

Please visit our website www.holdmyheartfoundation.com. We need as much help as we can get - and help comes in many forms! We ask for prayer, children's books, or monetary donations. My husband purchased a MacBook Pro for my birthday and I am using it for the foundation. Now I need to purchase an Office package and maybe make some stationary with our logo. Now that the website is finished I am ready to continue to press forward. God is awesome! I can't say that enough!

As for Pepsi, well we didn't make it. According to their email, our application did not meet the requirements. I was encouraged to apply again and maybe I will for next month.

In the meantime I have a lot to do!

New Direction

We've made some changes as to how we will help families. A social worker I spoke with suggested that instead of providing checks for families it would be better to give gift cards. It makes it easier for us and for the social worker. Instead of the social worker having to apply for assistance, he/she can give the family what they need exactly when they need it.

So we are asking for either a donation in the form of a gift card or money and we'll purchase the gift cards. For now the only gift cards I am asking for are Wal Mart gift cards and MasterCard gift cards. From what I read on their website, the gift card does not charge a fee the first time it is used (Visa does). We are going to do gift cards in $25 increments.

The website is close to being finished. I had to wait on a couple of things before I could come close to publishing it. Now I need to make changes and then I am going to premiere it May 1! Hopefully the same day that Pepsi accepts our application.

Half Marathon

A half marathon is not easy. I learned that this weekend. My friend, Isabelle, is participating in one in a couple of weeks. Saturday she asked if I wanted to accompany her on a practice marathon. I agreed thinking that it would be a challenge. Challenge is a gross understatement. So I have a lot of respect for people who can do marathons (whether half or whole). One person I greatly respect and admire completed a half marathon this weekend in St. Louis in 2 hours!

I met Erica while we were in the NICU. Her daughter was across from Alyssa's room. It's amazing how God places the right people at exactly the right time. Erica has been so supportive and helpful with this organization. She has helped me with finding out what to do, where to go, and really did the first fund raiser for Hold My Heart.

It touched my heart when I received an email from her Sunday to tell me that close to $1000 was raised! I mean how awesome is that! If you are one of the people who donated, thank you so much!

One of the best parts of the email was this picture. Not only did Erica help raise money for the organization but she had t-shirts made also! I love it! Here is a picture of Erica and her beautiful daughter. Thank you again Erica!

So Refreshing!

Ok so in case you don't know Pepsi is giving away money! So I applied on the Pepsi Refresh website but...I didn't make it for the voting pool for March. So please pray that our foundation will be in the running for April! I am super excited as the amount of money could help so many people in Missouri.

Once I find out if we are in the running for votes I will post here and on Facebook. Then I will need you to vote!

On another note...I had to remove the logo because I didn't realize how HUGE it was. I'm not sure how to resize using this website (I've tried trust me) so I removed it until I can get a smaller size. So hopefully soon I will have the logo back up and it won't take up half the screen. :)

Website is still going...Not up and running yet. I have to call tech support for Go Daddy and I've been putting it off. Good thing is that they have 24/7 support so I will do so Saturday night. Or Monday after work. I'm learning that this process will not be done in a day. Or a week. Or a month. It's hard - I want to get everything done! But one step at a time. I'm learning that more and more.

I hope that my next post will have some good news...preferably about Pepsi.

Under Construction

It's been awhile but I've been hard at work. Now that I am on spring break, I am using as much time as I can to get a website up and running. It's proving to be a little difficult. But I have an awesome logo (thank you Jill) and I am super excited!

I am also going to use this week to contact social workers at different NICU's. After much prayer I've decided on 4 NICU's around the state of Missouri. I still need to meet with my board but this is proving to be difficult. Trying to get 3 people together to approve the bylaws, budget and all of that jazz is hard when we all have different schedules and commitments. Please pray that we can get together. Once we approve everything we can finish applying with the IRS to be a tax-exempt organization.

Thank you so much for your prayers. I will update when I have more information. I hope that our website will be up and running by the end of the week!

Great News!

We are a go! I got the Missouri state papers in the mail yesterday! I am so excited! Now the work begins. I am typing up a letter and working on a website. I am trying to get everything done but I know that I'm going to really have to work during Spring Break (the 2nd week in March). I'm just glad that we are a go before the race!

I'm so thankful for all of my friends and family who are pitching in to help! God has trully blessed me with amazing people. In other news a very good friend who has a very good friend designed a couple of possible logos for me to use! Talk about exciting!

Please continue to pray for this organization. Now that I have a lot of work cut out I'll be updating here more! Thank you for all of your prayers and support!

Good news!

The application for Hold My Heart Foundation is on its way to the Secretary of State! I have an EIN number and everything which means I can open an account, PO Box. Now the real work begins! I feel really overwhelmed but I know that it will all come together. I have a lot of really awesome people who are offering their time and services to help get this started.

I hope to have a logo soon. Thank you Jill for talking to your friend! I have someone who offered to get a basic website rolling. So I hope to have the ok from the state, a website and logo by the end of February! I know the blog name still says Tiny Footprints so I guess once I get the ok from the state I will start a new blog.

I am so incredibly excited! The other day I was reading the bible and it occured to me that what I read should be the basis of the mission statement. The verse is from 2 Corinthians 1:4. It says "He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." When I read it I realized that is exactly what this organization is about! It's amazing what God does the more you allow Him control.

So I am busy trying to get everything typed out for my website and a brochure or something to send to businesses that I am going to try to get to partner with us. Please keep me and Hold My Heart Foundation in your prayers!

Back to the Drawing Board

Turns out Tiny Footprints can't be used. Bummer right? Not really! Here's why...


We went to Winter Jam in St. Louis. Awesome concert! Third Day! Newsboys! And my favorite Tenth Avenue North! For those of you who do not know, Hold My Heart by Tenth Avenue North is the song we chose for Alyssa's video. I consider it her song and I was extremely excited to hear it live.


Hearing it live was so awesome. I cried. If you haven't heard it before it is absolutely beautiful. Every word was how we felt when our doctor told us she wasn't going to make it, every day when she was in the NICU and when she passed. We prayed so hard, begging God to heal Alyssa - and He did...just not the way we wanted or imagined. And this song just reminded me everytime my heart broke that He is there through the pain - holding my heart.


Jessica (my sister) found out that they were going to be out to meet the fans. So we waited in line and I bought their CD for them to sign. I shared my story with the band and one member knew the pain we felt. I told them about how God was leading me to start this organization but that I couldn't name it what I originally wanted. It came to me a couple of days ago that Hold My Heart would be so fitting. So I asked if that would be ok and they said yes!

So I fixed my application (again) to change my requested names. Please pray that this time my application will go through without any delays. I want this organization to help provide comfort to families and remind them that no matter what they are going through He is there holding their hearts.

Vision

It's been awhile but my time away has allowed me to reflect and figure out what to do next. Going back to work was good because it keeps my mind busy. It's the times when I don't have anything to occupy my thoughts that I find myself bawling my eyes out looking at pictures of Alyssa. I'm not trying to avoid remembering her but I guess it's just that if I don't have something to do my thoughts get carried away. So I've found something that will remember Alyssa, help others and keep me incredibly busy.

Tiny Footprints is the name of the organization - at least I hope it will be - I am trying to start in the near future. This depends on my paperwork for the state of Missouri and if I can get that name. This blog will share the challenges of starting a non-profit organization as well as the difficulties of losing Alyssa. My vision includes two hopes.

The first is to help families who have children in the NICU. When we were in Columbia the Ronald McDonald House was too far from Alyssa in my opinion. If we were called in (like we were the day before she passed) I was afraid we would be stuck in traffic when every second counted. We decided to pay to stay at a hotel across the street. While my organization may not be able to pay the entire amount for a families stay at a hotel I would at least like to decrease the burden.

My other hope is to provide comfort for families who have lost their children. We were fortunate because the funeral home we had Alyssa cremated at paid for it and the NICU provided the urn. I would like to help families pay for expenses if they do not have that help. Losing a child is the most devastating thing to happen and I can't imagine having to scramble to find money to bury or cremate a child. That should be the last worry and I hope that it will be with this organization.

Please if you are interested in helping wait and pray for now. I have to wait until I get my paperwork before I can accept any monetary donations. Right now I have a vision but I have to wait before I can start anything. Within a month I hope to have a website and the ability to accept donations. I am so excited to share this information with you. Please if you have any suggestions or are willing to help out email me at tinyfootprintsrford@yahoo.com.

Thank you for your prayers!