Heartbreak and Joy

Today is Alyssa's first birthday. It truly breaks my heart but at the same time this is the day that God blessed us with her. I can't help but cry and at the same time rejoice.

One year ago our world was turned upside down. I was flown to Columbia for an emergency C-section not knowing whether I would ever see my little girl alive. But God gave us time with her and I am so thankful for that.

We got to see how she always wanted her left foot outside of her snuglet. Every time the nurse would put it back in, she would always find a way to stick it back out. We got to see how she wanted to know everything that was going on. If someone came into the room she would always look. One day she started to get upset at a doctor who she could not see. That's when I realized that I had a feisty little one on my hands (FLO for short). We were able to read to her, to sing to her, and to place one giant finger in her tiny hand. We had really good days and really bad days. We were told that she wouldn't make it but she made it 11 days more than what they thought. Our little girl was a fighter and an inspiration to many. My little girl, my precious angel who would be turning 1 today.

How my heart aches. I should be choosing her party outfit and theme. I know one day we will be together and for that, my heart rejoices. I like to think that when that happens we'll have the biggest, awesomest party ever. I mean, Jesus and my little girl will be there and that in itself makes it awesome!

So Happy Birthday, my sweet little girl. We love you so much!