Broken

This weekend I went to Wild Week in Oklahoma. I can't say enough how awesome God is. I realized something and I feel the need to share it with you.

A lot of people have told me how strong I am. The only reason for that is God. I can't take credit for it. But I realized that I was building up a facade and didn't know it. I was running away from grief and from confronting the feelings I needed to confront. Instead of taking time to grieve Alyssa I was filling up my spare time with things to do.

The foundation is a way for me to honor God and my daughter but this weekend broke me - in a good way. I realized that I was putting things in front of God. I want a baby so badly and it was affecting my relationships - most importantly my relationship with God. So this week has totally put me back in the right direction. I realized that even if I don't get to be a mom here I will always get to be a mom in heaven. So although I'm hopeful to have a baby here I will not let those thoughts consume me that it takes away time from my God.

Also another thing that is broken...PayPal. Go figure. Once we get an interview in the post newspaper with our website, they place a hold on our account so we are not able to take donations. Here is the link for the article http://www.myguidon.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=12293&Itemid=40. God has blessed us in so many ways and one of them was this article. Thank you Cpt. Green and Kerstin! The article is so beautifully written. Please pass on the link to people to get us out there and please let them know that PayPal should be fixed by Tuesday. God bless!